


Before The Storm

by evilcatsandangels



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action, Action/Adventure, Adventure, Alternate Ending, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Apocalypse, Bullying, Character Death, Control, Death, Disasters, Dominant Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), End of the World, F/M, Guns, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Torture, Jealousy, Manga & Anime, Memory Loss, Misunderstandings, Multi, Murder, Mystery, Obsession, Original Character Death(s), Possessive Behavior, Reboot, Revenge, Romance, Scary Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Secrets, Slow Burn, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Stalking, Temporary Amnesia, Thriller, Titans, Two Endings, Unrequited Crush, Yandere, Yandere Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-07 23:28:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19859788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evilcatsandangels/pseuds/evilcatsandangels
Summary: Having no recollection of her past, Y/n's world only revolves around her best friend, Melody. Aside from the strange girl she keeps seeing in her dreams and the cryptic voices inside her head, her life is normal and leisurely, enclosed within the innermost wall protecting humanity from the ravenous beasts roaming outside. When her mentor is killed by a man, she follows her best friend to join the 105th cadet corps with only one motive- avenge her mentor's death. With the threat of destruction looming over the world and the two men that become enamored with her, Y/n's plans go haywire.Secrets are revealed. Choices are made. Will Y/n make the right choice?"You've done well till now but it's far from over. Carry out your duties. Do what needs to be done. Only you can stop the storm that will devastate the world."





	1. Bullies and saviors

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Attack on Titan does not belong to me. This is purely for entertainment purposes. No profit is being made off of it. The pictures used do not belong to me either unless stated other wise. This is a reader insert.  
> Abbreviations:  
> Y/n: Your name  
> E/c: Eye color  
> H/c: Hair color  
> ________________________________________  
> I've been going crazy for the past few days speculating all sorts of theories about how Attack on titan is going to end and with the recent manga update, I lost my mind (manga readers know what I'm talking 'bout) so I thought why not put my theories into application and write a fan fiction. Also I've noticed a lack of Armin x reader stories (>_< why do people dislike my favorite character?)so might as well contribute to the community. I have a rough outline about this story but I haven't put the events together so the updates will depend on the response of readers. Levi is also a lot younger in this story. Will follow the canon story-line except the obvious changes. Also, the ratings and archive warnings MIGHT CHANGE depending on how this churns out.

_ Paradis Island, Year 845 _

_The dark haired little girl smiled down at your unconscious form. "It has started. You've done well till now but it's far from over. Carry out your duties. Do what needs to be done" She caressed the h/c locks that were spread around your head like a halo over the brown soil. As her form started to fade away into thin air, replaced by the darkness that was slowly taking over, she whispered one last thing_

**_"Remember what I told you y/n"_ **

Your eyes snapped open and you sat up with a gasp, scanning the area. The jerking of the horse-drawn carriage over the rocky terrain and sound of wheels as the cart moved on was the only thing you registered as you glanced around the insides of the small wagon. 

"Are you alright?" [Melody](https://em.wattpad.com/9287a49b988f399cdb3e4ebaa2d200bd67bae5c7/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f6e66775774446f485868613148513d3d2d3636333539343235382e313536653664386131663063396636633737333435303335373137342e706e67?s=fit&w=720&h=720), asked you worriedly. Her golden brown eyes were filled with concern and her brows were furrowed as she stared at you

"You fell asleep as soon as we boarded the carriage."

"Y/n" You whispered abruptly, the name still ringing in your ears. She stared at you bewildered.

"Huh?"

"I remember. My name is Y/n." You said as you recalled the dream. You weren't sure who the strange girl was. You had never seen her before as far as your memory allowed you to recall yet for some inexplicable reason, you felt as though you knew her. You were sure she had addressed you.

She had said something to you. You frowned. You couldn't recall what it had been. You only remembered her mouth moving as she spelled out the words but it was as if you were in vacuum. No sound had reached your ears apart from the one time she had said your name.

"Y/n. That's a pretty name!" Melody said with a cheerful smile before she took note of your somber expression.

"Are you sure you're alright y/n. You didn't get hurt trying to save me, did you?"

You shook your head "I'm fine Miss"

She smiled at you "Y/n you saved my life. You don't need to address me as such. I'm sure father will be delighted to meet you." She said with childish glee and your ten year self couldn't help but smile. Her happiness was contagious. Your happiness was short lived though. Your mood darkened considerably as the events of the day started flashing in front of your eyes.

Wall Maria had fallen. You had been on your way to fetch water from the nearby well to aid the farmers. After wandering around aimlessly for days in Shiganshina district, a woman had noticed you and taken you to the nearest orphanage that was located near the titan forest, away from the Shiganshina district. The vast stretches of land surrounding the forest was very fertile and they were in need of laborers. Although the treatment meted out towards the orphans was dreadful, it was better than spending the harsh nights and days on the street like a beggar, eating from trashcans and getting beaten for no reason. The orphanage provided you with a place to sleep in and food albeit in measly portions. You didn't really get along with the other children as they seemed to hold some sort of grudge towards you since they had lost a good portion of their meals because of your arrival.

It had only been a week at most and you had been in the middle of your chores when a violent convulsion inside the ground had knocked all of you off your feet. The ground had been shaking for quite some time and no one had been sure what had been happening as the farm lands were quite far away from the other districts. It was only after the second tremor you felt that was even more intense when the hordes of people evacuating the western district of Wall Maria informed the farmers that Wall Maria had been breached along with Shiganshina district. You had been frozen in shock as chaos erupted around you, the farmers and children alike taking away the meager valuables they possessed and joining the horde of people escaping towards the gates of Karanese district. The crowd had almost trampled you specially after some people claimed to have spotted titans moving towards the forest of giant trees. You were being pushed left and right, trying to move through the horde of people when you caught sight of one and froze.

You had never seen something more terrifying in your life and yet for some reason you didn't feel as panicked as you should have been feeling. You stepped away from the crowd, taking in the details of the giant creature. It was fascinating how similar it looked to humans even though the its frame was disproportionate for its giant head. 

"What is wrong with you kid, get going!" A man had yelled at you but you were confounded by it, noticing the way its speed accelerated as it practically ran towards the hordes of people. The way it ran towards you with its inordinate head bobbing up and down dramatically for some reason looked comical and did not match the description of the abominable and ferocious predators the children of the orphanage had claimed them to be.

The sight had been hilarious to you and you had started laughing, grabbing the attention of a few nearby people who had turned to look at you in shock,wondering if you had lost your head.

As you thought about the incident sitting inside the safety of the small wagon, you had to admit that you might have had momentarily lost your head. After coming in close proximity of the abnormally large hand of the creepy humanoid creature, you wanted to stay as far away as possible from them. Still you couldn't shake off the perplexing thought that the titan had actually let you go voluntarily, out of its own free will, _as if it was scared of you._ It was an absurd and incredulous thought but you couldn't help replay the events all over again in your head, analyzing obsessively.

* * *

(Flashback)

As you ceased laughing and compared the titan with the mental images of titans that you had created and instilled inside your head, courtesy of your eavesdropping sessions, your speculations were cut short when you caught a figure crouching behind a nearby house and whimpering. " Are you alright?" You approached the girl and and couched in front of her. She raised her head and you saw her tearful face as she shook her head.

"I-I got lost. I'm scared" Her voice was shaky and clogged with tears. You looked back toward the giant creature that was rapidly gaining in on the humans and as you took in her pitiful form, you decided to help her. Grabbing her hand you tried to tug her up "We have to go. Come on."   
She shook her head. "I I can't! My leg" You took notice of the gashes and scratches on her knees as blood oozed out relentlessly.

"I'll help you" You said as you found a piece of cloth lying nearby and made it into a makeshift bandage, tying it haphazardly as worry and fear began to creep into finally, when you saw the titan only few paces away. In your haste, you found a few sharp rocks lying nearby and picked them up, just in case.

You tried to help her up just as the titan caught up to you two. Your blood ran cold as you made eye contact with its humongous eyes. You could only stare in horror as it reached out a giant hand to grab the girl beside you who screamed in fear.

" ** _Do your duties"_**

You would never know what came over you in that brief moment but you managed to push her out of the way as its giant fingers closed around your trembling torso. As it picked you up with an uncomfortably tight hold and brought you near its face you were frozen in fear. This was what your peers had been talking about. The creature's monstrosity became more apparent up close as you realized how helpless humans were in front of these beasts. You could finally understand why the other people had been freaking out. You could hear screams around you but no one helped you. Not that one could do much against these creatures with their sheer size. 

_Humans were truly helpless._

" ** _Focus y/n"_**

You shook yourself out of your daze and realized the titan was just staring at you, making no moves to devour you. You were momentarily confused when you realized your hands were still free. Tightening your fist, your hurled the sharp jagged rocks into the left eye of the titan with all your might. The rocks did nothing to it but it did release you from its hold and you braced yourself for the fall. Before you could hit the ground, someone grabbed you in their arms. You opened your eyes and were met with grey eyes of a young man.

Before you could take note of his features he was already gone, slashing down the titan that was in front of you as it tumbled down in a heap, making the ground reverberate.

"Kids! Are you alright?" you saw a red haired woman with glasses making her way towards you two with a bunch of other people in tow. You took notice of the clothes of that some of them were adorning. It seemed to be a uniform of sorts.

Judging by the ease with which the boy had killed the giant, it was clear they were soldiers. You were particularly intrigued by the huge sheaths they were carrying on their sides, with glinting sharp objects peeking out , the strange cylindrical tanks attached on the sides and the network of cables attached from it to the blades they had in both of their hands. You had never seen such equipment before. The town guards in Shiganshina paled drastically in comparison to them.

"Miss Capell! Thank heavens you are safe!" A dark haired woman ran towards the girl whom you had been helping and hugged her. "Thank you Miss Hanji for the help. Mr Capell would have killed me if something happened to our miss."

A man who was dressed formally and not in the soldier's clothes addressed the red haired woman as she waved her hand dismissively. "It's alright. I didn't to anything anyway." She grinned at them before turning towards the dead creature that seemed to be evaporating.

"Levi! You shouldn't have killed it it was only an 8 meter titan! My poor baby!" She screamed at the boy who was already busy taking down two other titans that had showed up. Your eyes widened as you saw the proficiency with which he killed them, only in mere seconds. He couldn't have been older than seventeen yet the expertise he fought with revealed an unparalleled skill.

"You lot need to leave right now! Wall Maria has been compromised entirely, we have to help the other districts evacuate" Another one of the soldiers said, drawing your attention.

"We have our carriage ready. Let's go Miss Capell." The woman said to the girl beside you as you stood there not sure where to go. Before you could say anything, the girl whom you had just saved spoke up "Wait. He saved me. He pushed me away when the titan was about to grab me! " The red haired woman looked at you surprised and an unsettling grin began to form on her face as she stared at you in amazement. You felt a little creeped out by her grin but the boy who had killed the titans interrupted "Hanji get moving!" He yelled as he speed towards the forest. His eyes met yours for a brief moment but you couldn't catch onto his expression before he disappeared into the forest.

"Come with us. You saved my life." The girl insisted and you nodded your head. It wasn't like you had any place to go in the first place apart from the orphanage which was deemed uninhabitable anymore. You felt awkward at the fact that she mistook you for a boy.

''I'm actually a girl" you mumbled in embarrassment.

(End of flashback)

* * *

_( A few days ago)_

_You weren't sure how you had got here. You looked around the meadow surrounding you. The tall grasses were making your back itch and you sat up slowly, looking around the place.You could make out the houses int the distance and followed the trail leading towards it. You tried to remember what you were doing here. Who were you? Where had you come from?_

_Having no recollection of your past didn't freak you out as it was ought to. Instead you continued to walk in a daze, past the children playing and running around you, not realizing you had already walked inside a habituated area. Your trance like state was broken when someone bumped into you and being the frail skinny thing you were, you fell on your back. "Ouch" you muttered rubbing your head which throbbed, however you weren't sure if it was the impact of the collision or something else.The person who had bumped into you gasped before a small hand was offered to you. You looked up and your e/c eyes clashed with the cerulean eyes of the kid. It was difficult to tell whether the person was a girl or a boy due to their rather long hair and effeminate features but they were around the same age as you "I'm sorry I didn't-"_

_"Hey Armin! You little punk!" You heard some older boys shouting at the person in front of you and 'Armin' turned back to look at them. He didn't seem surprised to see them but quickly picked his book up that he had dropped in the collision before giving you an apologetic glance. You thought he would take off running but to your surprise he only stood his ground, even as the older boys caught up to him and pinned him against a nearby building, snatching the book away from his hands. You deduced that the spiky blonde haired boy who was pinning 'Armin' was probably the leader of the group as he continued taunting with lame insults. You almost snorted. To your surprise you heard 'Armin' respond to the older boy sarcastically. It was a clever insult,one you had clearly not expected from the timid boy but as the older boy connected a fist with Armin's jaw, your amusement diffused in an instant. You weren't one to lose temper quickly so it surprised you when you felt rage coursing through your veins as the spiky haired boy continued to harass him._

_But you knew you could not take them down, not with your emaciated build. Thinking quickly you found a few pebbles lying around your feet. Picking them up you distanced yourself from them and chucked it at them. The stones hit the three boys exactly on the head before Armin could get another punch landed to him and you stared at your hand, surprised at your own accuracy. Your sudden bout of precision had surprised you._

_"Who was that? Show yourself! " They let go of Armin and whilst they were temporarily distracted, you dashed towards them, grabbed Armin's hand and started running away._

_"They are running away! Get them!" You could hear their footsteps chasing you down as you ran away with the boy and pulled him inside an alley, ducking behind trashcans. You peeked your head to see the boys running away past the alley and sighed in relief before turning towards the boy beside you was rapidly turning pale as he panted from the exertion. His eyes widened when he suddenly realized something "M-my book! It's with them." You stared at him in disbelief._

_"You are worried about that?"_

_"It was not an ordinary book! It has portraits of landscapes outside the walls!" You cocked your head to the side in confusion, not understanding he was talking about. You hadn't really taken note of the surroundings since you had waken up on that meadow._

_"I have to get it back! " He said as he got up and prepared to run.  
"W-wait! Aren't you worried about getting beaten up again?" You said eyeing the dark bruise on the right side of his pale cheek. He gave you a small, helpless smile as he nodded. "I am but at least I am not running away. Running away is a cowardly act." You grew a bit offended at his words. He seemed to notice your change. " I-I didn't mean it like that."_

_"No you're right" you said with a sigh as you considered his words, eventually finding yourself agreeing with it. He gave you a bright smile as he offered his hand._

_"Thank you for saving me though and I'm sorry for bumping into you earlier. I'm, Armin" You stared at his hand and looked down staring at the dark brown soil underneath your feet. "I-i don't have a name" you mumbled and Armin looked at you surprised. "Everyone has a name. Did you forget it? Are you-"_

_"Gotcha punk!" The boys from earlier appeared inside the alley and the guy that was punching Armin earlier rook notice of you. "You! You were the one throwing stones at us" He grabbed the collar of your dirty shirt and you yelped, ready to kick him and run but before he could throw a punch at you, he was hit on the back of his head with a branch. You stared in shock at Armin, his arms shaking as he still clutched onto the piece of wood. Armin appeared shocked at himself as well but he managed to glare at the boy. "Leave him alone! He did nothing wrong!" The boy turned to scowl at Armin and grabbed his collar as his face turned red._

_"You dared to-"_

_"Hey! It's Eren and Mikasa!" One of the boys said with fear as the bully immediately let Armin go and stared apprehensively at the two children running their way. "We will not be defeated today!" He proclaimed determinedly but being as observant as you were, it was easy to see past the facade and false bravado he orchestrated. He threw Armin's book onto the ground and charged towards them. Your e/c eyes fell on the page the book had opened up to and as you took in the drawing, a sudden flash of pain striked at the back of your head. Your vision got blurry for a second as an unknown force had invaded your mind._

**_"Fulfill your duties."_ ** _The voice hissed inside your head before you felt the foreign presence disappearing, leaving a trail of pain and coldness in its awake. You grabbed your head from the pain and took a look at the scene in front of you. The three bullies were getting beaten up and you were surprised when you saw it was the raven haired girl who was beating them single-handedly._

_The brown haired boy was being restrained by Armin from interfering. You shifted your eyes to see the small crowd that was gathered nearby where a blonde haired man with a drunken stupor was throwing punches at a shop keeper as some people tried to held them back. It was a chaotic scene and you chose to take our leave then, slithering away unnoticed, unaware of the cerulean eyes that had caught onto your retreating form._

"We're here!" Melody said and you were jostled out of your sleep once again. You had fallen asleep along the course of the journey again. Your body seemed worn out more than usual. Your thoughts went back to the dream you had. 

Not a dream.You had relived a memory. Your stomach twisted uncomfortably as you felt a pang of fear and worry about the golden haired boy you had me back in Shiganshina, only two days before joining the orphanage. You wondered if he had survived the tragedy.

* * *

You stared wide eyed at the huge mansion in front of you. It was dramatically different from the houses you were accustomed to back inside Wall Maria. The mansion wasn't far from being a castle.

"You live here? It's majestic!" Melody shrugged nonchalantly.

"It's wall Sheena" She said as if that was the answer to all your queries. You remembered the conversation the kids in your orphanage used to have, envy lacing their voices whenever they spoke about wall Sheena. Eavesdropping on their conversations had been the only way to gain knowledge as you had been clueless about the walls and titans. 

_"Wall Sheena is the innermost and safest place of the inside the walls. It is also the place where nobility and the high ranking merchants reside. People say they live in so much luxury there, we cannot even fathom"_

Their theories had been right and you could see why as you took in the grandeur of the place. Even though the mansion was beautiful, it was notably ostentatious.

You followed Melody through the large hallway inside a lavishly furnished sitting room, a bit intimidated.

"Melody! My girl are you alright? I though I lost you! " A man said as he hugged Melody. He had the same hair and eyes as her.

"I'm sorry father" You looked on awkwardly at the family reunion. You had never received the love or care of any guardians. You had never even seen your parents. You didn't remember where you came from except your age and name. Irregardless to say, you weren't the best person when it came to socializing.

He pulled back and gave her an admonishing look as she smiled apologetically "This is the last time you run away from home. Do you see what happens when you behave rashly?" He glared at the carriage driver and a woman who had been accompanying them, melody's nursemaid. "And you two! How cold you be so careless and take her all the way to Wall Maria. How dare you you leave the security of the innermost walls!"

"Father don't blame them. It was my fault. I insisted on visiting. Everyone in our school is always talking about the forest of giant trees. I wanted to see what it looked like" she said sheepishly before she perked up again. Grabbing your hand she pulled you in front of him.

"She was the one who saved me from a titan!" The man's eyes widened "A titan?"

Melody nodded enthusiastically as you stared apprehensively at him, unsure of what to say before the strict and austere man. You wandered whether you would also receive an earful. You were surprise when he crouched down in front of you and stroked your head affectionately. "What is your name child?"

"Y/n sir" You managed not to stutter.

The man looked taken aback by your name. It seemed everyone deduced you as a boy. In all honestly, they couldn't be blamed. With your scrawny built and short hair, you indeed could pass off as a boy. "Y/n I cannot thank you enough for saving this foolish daughter of mine when her supposed guardians failed" He said as he shot a quick glare towards the man and the woman standing with their heads hung low in shame. " I would like to reward you and your family for this act of bravery."

You lowered your head "I don't have a family sir." Even though it hadn't bothered you before, seeing the bond Melody shared with her father made you realize what you were missing out on and you couldn't help the desolation that seeped into your words.

The man looked curious but you weren't sure if you could answer further questions about your family that you had no recollection of. The weight of not having anyone to care for you suddenly seemed to be bearing down on you and you fought to blink back tears. Thankfully, Melody noticed your dilemma and came to your assistance.

"Y/n doesn't have any recollection of her past, father. She told me she had been wandering around the inner Shiganshina district for a week. The last orphanage she was staying at treated the children like slaves." Melody said, sorrow evident in her voice. The man looked at you contemplating something before he seemingly arrived at a conclusion.

" Y/n would you like to stay with us?" Melody squealed in delight but you shook your head apologetically.

"I cannot possibly do that sir. Living here for free, I cannot burden you" You were small but you still had pride and a sense of responsibility. Even though you had no place to go, you wouldn't accept to live on some one else's mercy. That was why you had preferred the orphanage in the first place where you earned your food. The man only chuckled at your response.

" You are so young yet you have such a great sense of propreity. You will be a good influence to Melody. You saved my daughter's life. You are staying here with us." He said with certitude.

You didn't argue anymore and nodded. A small genuine smile graced your lips after days as Melody hugged you. 

You would finally have a place to call home.


	2. Retribution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important! I have some changes to make to the canon story line. All of Attack on titan's arc before Marley take place within one year in the anime and manga but I'm increasing the time length. The clash of titans arc takes place a year after the female titan arc , that is in the year 851. This chapter starts from the middle of the clash of titans arc.  
> L/n : Your last name  
> F/n : Your fake name of choice (a male name)  
> H/l : Hair length

_Ehrmich District, Paradis Island, Year 851_

"Please maintain order! There are women and children in here! Do not push each other!" You announced to the crowd of panicking people before you, trying to maintain some semblance of order in the chaos. You glanced around, noticing your fellow batch mates assisting the people yet you caught no sight of the brunette you were looking for. 

_"Where are you?_ ," you gnawed on your lower lip, worried about your best friend.

Wall Rose had been supposedly breached and the people were being evacuated to wall Sheena's Ehrmich district. The large influx of crowd had brought about unrest and most of the garrisons and survey corps had departed to inspect the area of the breach. As a result trainees in their last year of graduation had been recruited temporarily to assist as volunteers which essentially meant from the 105th cadet corps, the senior most batch at present. You had no intentions of joining but when you heard Melody's name amidst the volunteers, you had joined on a whim. You were sure Melody was up to some trouble. As you took in the mass of people before you, you grew anxious.

"Relax, F/n. I'm sure Melody is okay" One of your comrades, [Ben](https://images.hairsimply.com/file/hairsimply-com/f56107c192d5f7eed30b7de97a8b4c26_eternal-spiral-male-ginger-hair-green-eyes_295-485.jpeg), assured you to soothe your worries.

"Or maybe she has been eaten by a titan" [Richie](https://kanimepop.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/kei_takishima_11022011115512.jpg), your bunk mate supplied unhelpfully as Ben shot him a glare and gritted his teeth.

"How dare you joke about Melody like that!" 

Richie smirked at him, "Aww someone's thirsty for the brunette"

Ben sputtered, red faced before glaring at him

"Watch your mouth Miller"

"Oh yeah. You wanna fight me, Walter?" Richie spat Ben's last name with a challenging glint in his eyes.

You tuned out the bickering duo as you struggled to look over the heads of the people in the crowd, trying to catch sight of Melody when you finally saw her running towards the headquarters.

"Melody! Where were you?" You noticed [Louise](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/louise_4.png), who was in her first year trailing behind Melody. Your best friend smiled at you excitedly.

"We heard Commander Erwin and his team was going to come here so we were at the gates, trying to get a glimpse of them!"

You were about to reprimand her when her words registered in your brain. "Did you say Commander Erwin will be here? That means all his squad leaders will be here as well?" 

Louise nodded beside her enthusiastically, a dreamy expression covering her face. "Yes! The other survey corps too! We will finally get to see the titan-shifter Eren, Mikasa and the rest of the heroic 104th cadet corps!"

Your headquarters were different from that of your former batches. The headquarters of the cadet corps had been permanently shifted inside wall Sheena's Ehrmich district, a wise decision considering the things that had happened in the other headquarter at Trost so you all never really the opportunity to meet the legendary 104th corps.

Louise had been saved by Mikasa Ackerman, the top ranking 104th cadet a year ago, when Trost district had been breached and ever since then, Louise had worshiped Mikasa. Mikasa was the reason she had joined the training corps. You could understand their excitement but it did little to soothe your aggravation.

"So did you see them?" Ben, whom you had forgotten about asked her. Melody shook her head and sighed. " No, they are supposed to arrive tomorrow."

 _Tomorrow_. You were already scheming as soon as you heard her words.

_**An opportunity to finally exact revenge.** _

" You better inform me the next time you decide go wandering off on your own." You scolded Melody. She looked slightly piqued at your words. " F/n, I can take care of myself. Stop acting as if you are older than me. You are not my guardian."

You glared at her, feeling angry more than you should have. The information that Melody had delivered had drastically darkened your mood and you took it out on the wrong person.

"Well I have to worry when you refuse to act like a grown up and conduct yourself with responsibility!" Melody's eyes widened in hurt and you felt guilty for erupting on her. The others around you awkwardly backed away from the conversation, sensing your dark mood.

You put a hand on your forehead and let out an exasperated sigh, "I'm sorry-"

"You have changed."

You paused, taking in her somber expression and furrowed eyebrows. 

"You were never like this before. We used to have so much fun together."

" People change." You replied numbly. Melody sighed before placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. 

"I know his death affected you a lot. You were so close to him but trust me, I understand what you have been through. He was not only your mentor. He was my father too, you know. But we cannot wallow in misery forever. Father's death was an accident. We can do nothing about it. Father wouldn't like if it if he saw you like this. We have to keep on moving forward, Y/n" She whispered your real name quietly so that no one else heard it. 

_" **No you don't understand Melody. You never will**_ **"**

You wanted to scream at her but you only nodded your head mutely as she smiled at you.

"If only you knew", you thought bitterly.

* * *

_"Sir ! You will be alright! Wake up, please! " Tears poured down your eyes as Mr. Capell breathed harshly, in the last throes of his life, the blood seeping from his stomach painting the grey tiles crimson._

_**"You are destined for great things Y/n**. Promise me you'll honor-" He was cut off as his breath hitched and he struggled to let out his final words. You nodded your head desperately, grabbing his hand tighter.  
"I will sir. You will be fine."_

_"....my last wish" He sucked in a last heaving breath before it came to a quivering halt._

_Your eyes widened in shock when his hands slipped away from your hand limply as the light faded from his golden eyes. You stared at the man you had come to look up to as a father, as a mentor in rising horror._

_"S-sir? sir!" You grabbed his shoulders and shook him, trying to wake him up._

_"Y/n you need to leave!" Peter grabbed you by the waist, dragging your thrashing body away from the corpse and pushed you out of the gates, towards the horse waiting for you._

_"Peter-"_

_"Go! Do as I instructed you!" He thrust the small pouch onto your hands before his knees buckled and he collapsed grabbing his left shoulder. It was then you took note of the fatal wound on the left side of his chest._

_"Peter!" You tried to assist him up but he couldn't stand up. He was deathly pale and you could feel the tremors coursing through his body._

_"Peter what-"_

_He smiled at you brokenly as he lit the match stick "You were the best sparring partner I ever had Y/n"_

_The lit matchstick was dropped as the fiery orange flames came to life in an instant, encircling the courtyard in a ring of fire.  
"GO!" You stared wide eyed, frozen in shock as the house erupted in flames in front of you._

_**"LEAVE!"** He yelled one last time as he disappeared from your vision, the fiery flames engulfing and concealing the entire courtyard from your vision. _

You sat up with a gasp. The memory of Mr. Capell and Peter's death that had been burned into your mind felt fresh. You tried to calm down your frantic heartbeat as you heard the familiar snoring drifting down from the upper bunk of your bed. It had been months since you had last had that certain nightmare.

The nightmare had refreshed your memory of that **fateful night** three years ago.

* * *

_( 3 years ago)_

_Paradis Island, Year 848_

You gave the rein a short tug, urging the horse to gallop faster as your h/l h/c hair whipped around your face due to the harsh wind. Something was not quite right. You could feel it. You had sensed a change in the behavior of everyone in the Capell mansion. They were unusually cheerful and happy but you could feel their saturnine temperament concealed behind the fake jovial demeanor. They had a gloomy air about them and tried to make up for it by being over zealous.

Melody had thought you were looking into things too deep but you knew better. The subtle worried glances Mr. Capell and Peter, Melody's bodyguard, exchanged was not lost on you. Moreover, the way Mr. Capell had sent you and Melody away to a remote place in the Ehrmich district for a 'change of scenery' was questionable, seeing as no one else had accompanied you, not even Peter. Even the carriage driver had left after dropping off the two of you in front of the mansion.

You were sure something was wrong. And you were going to find you, much to Melody's disapproval.

_"Y/n can't you wait for a few days?" Melody asked you as you found a suitable horse from the stables. Making sure you had your canteen and some dry food in your pouch, you hoisted yourself up on the raven charger with ease._

_"I have a really important thing to do Melody. I'll tell you about it once I come back. Make sure Mrs. Becker doesn't find out I'm going, not until a day has passed at least." You waved at melody as you set off riding, following the map you had created with the trails you had memorized whilst you were being escorted to Ehrmich from Orvud._

You had rode for an entire day and it was around ten o clock in the night when you reached the said mansion. The mansion was awfully quiet and shrouded in complete darkness.

"My suspicions were correct", You thought grimly as you left the horse in front of the gate before making your way inside, cautious and stealthy. The dim rays of the moon shinning over the courtyard did little to light up the area and you almost tripped over something. When you caught sight of what it was, you froze, clamping down a hand on your mouth to stop yourself from screaming out loud.

**A corpse.**

"Alice" You whispered in horror as you recognized the familiar girl. She was Melody's personal maid and resembled you quite a bit. You took in the familiar dress she was wearing, realizing it was one of your dresses. You crouched down and gently grasped her cold wrist, checking for a pulse only to find none. Shakily withdrawing your hand, you noticed the red line around her throat that still had blood seeping out.

Somebody had slit her throat.

Swallowing your horror, you moved forward, the dread growing in your stomach as you stepped inside the hallway. You couldn't stop the gasp that escaped your throat this time. 

There were bodies all around. Dead bodies. 

You covered your mouth as an ugly sob wretched out of your throat, recognizing the fallen bodies of the familiar butlers, maids and guards. They had all been slaughtered. 

You froze when a thought entered your mind as a crippling fear took hold of you.

**Mr. Capell.**

You dashed to his room, careful not to step on the bodies. 

You almost pulled the door off of its hinges but you were met with the sight of the empty room. Before you could yell out his name, someone grabbed you, placing a hand over your mouth and pulled you inside the closet. You were about to kick that person when you e/c eyes made contact with the familiar blue eyes.

Peter's face was ashen with fraught and desperation written all over as he shook his head, warning you not to scream even though he didn't remove his grip on you. Your ears picked up the the footsteps of someone. As you peeked through the small opening inside the closet, you caught sight of a man inside the room as he stepped out of Mr. Capell's study. Your eyes widened when you caught a brief glance of the familiar grayish blue eyes of the man.

_His eyes met yours for a brief moment but you couldn't catch onto his expression before he disappeared into the forest._

You remembered him. He was the boy who had saved you from the Titan, back in Wall Maria, three years ago.

"Tch what a waste." You heard him mumble as he whipped out a clean cloth and wiped the blood stained blade he held in his hand.

Your blood ran cold when you saw the blood in his hands.

You struggled to move but Peter tightened his hold on you. The other man spared a weary glance around the room before he jumped down from the window and zipped away with his equipment. You broke free of Peter's grasp as soon as he was gone and dashed inside Mr. Capell's study.

"Mr. Capell!" Your breath was caught in your throat you took in the scene in front of you. 

Lying on the cold grey floor, in a pool of thick red liquid, pressumably his own blood, he was barely hanging onto life. 

You ran up to him and dropped down to your knees, trying to find something, anything to stop his bleeding.

"Y-Y/n? Is that you?" he was struggling to speak, his words were slurred and garbled but you could still make them out.

" I'm here. You will be alright! Just hold on" your voice was frantic as you pressed a piece of cloth against his wound with pressure, hoping to stop the blood flow. 

"Silly girl. You shouldn't have come here." Mr. Capell let out a strangled sound reminiscent of a chuckle as he watched your vain efforts.

"It's not working!" You cried out in anguish as the flood kept flowing from the wound, coating your hands red.

"Y/n, do you remember what I told you a few days ago?" You froze as a familiar conversation flashed across your mind. 

You nodded your head frantically, tears blinding your vision."It won't come to that sir I-

"My time is up. Don't let my death slow you down. Always remember the things I taught you" You grabbed his hand, as if to cease and contain the life that was slowly being drained out of his body.

"Sir ! You will be alright! Wake up, please! " Tears poured down your eyes as Mr. Capell breathed harshly, in the last throes of his life, the blood seeping from his stomach painting the grey tiles crimson.

 **"You are destined for great things Y/n**. Promise me you'll honor-" He was cut off as his breath hitched and he struggled to let out his final words. You nodded your head desperately, grabbing his hand tighter.  
"I will sir. You will be fine."

"....my last wish" He sucked in a last heaving breath before it came to a quivering halt.

Your eyes widened in shock when his hands slipped away from your hand limply as the light faded from his golden eyes. You stared at the man you had come to look up to as a father, as a mentor in rising horror as your insides felt like they were being twisted and pulled apart.

"S-sir? sir!" You grabbed his shoulders and shook him, trying to wake him up. 

"Y/n you need to leave!" Peter grabbed you by the waist, dragging your thrashing body away from the corpse and pushed you out of the gates, towards the horse waiting for you. 

"Peter-"

"It's not safe here. They will kill you if they realize you are still alive. You need to hide Y/n. Disguise yourself as a boy and leave Orvud. Go to my house in Yarckel. This has everything you will need. Mrs. Becker will be there to collect you after a few days. Leave with her to Ehrmich. Do not ever come back! Do you understand me? Here!" You were frozen in place, not making head and tails of what was happening as Peter placed a hooded cloak over your shoulders.

"Go! Do as I instructed you!" He thrust the small pouch onto your hands before his knees buckled and he collapsed grabbing his left shoulder. It was then you took note of the fatal wound on the left side of his chest. It looked like an arrow had pierced through him.

"Peter!" You tried to assist him up but he couldn't stand up. He was deathly pale and you could feel the tremors coursing through his body.

"Peter what-"

"I've been poisoned. I don't have much time left." He coughed up blood as he grabbed the matchsticks from his pocket with shaky hands. Your eyes widened. You tried to reach out to him but he only pushed you back with his remaining might and you landed in front of the gates on your back once again. 

He smiled at you brokenly as he lit the match stick "You were the best sparring partner I ever had Y/n"

The lit matchstick was dropped as the fiery orange flames came to life in an instant, encircling the courtyard in a ring of fire. It was then you noticed the trail of gasoline that had been poured around the entire place.   
"GO!" You stared wide eyed, frozen in shock as the house erupted in flames in front of you.

 **"LEAVE!"** He yelled one last time as he disappeared from your vision, the fiery flames engulfing and concealing the entire courtyard from your vision. 

* * *

Just as Peter had instructed you, you fled with the cloak he had given you, hiding your form and the pouch safely tucked away. You turned back one last time to look through the tears blinding your eye sight as the burning mansion attracted the attention of nearby residents. 

You watched silently the next day as a crying Melody was brought in, hysterical when she saw the charred remains of the house she had grown up in. No one had survived the tragedy and you could only guiltily watch as Melody broke down as she realized she had lost you as well along with her father. Having lost her mother during her birth, her father and you were the only ones she had left.

You wanted nothing more than to run up to her and comfort her in that moment but as you took in the hordes of officials and other colleagues of Mr. Capell crowding the place, you were forced to hide and watch helplessly from the dark ally you had taken refuge in that offered a vantage point. At least Mrs Becker was there to comfort her.

You remembered Peter's words, you had to make them believe you had perished. It was the only way they would not come after you and by staying alive, you could ensure Melody's survival. You glared at the culprit of your mentor as you caught sight of him, acting all high and mighty, sporting his usual passive expression as if nothing in the world was worthy of his attention.

**The abomination of a human being.**

You clenched your fists to restrain yourself physically from stabbing him right then and there, your nails digging into your palms as droplets of blood oozed out from the cuts. You glared at the man with a burning hatred you had never felt before, an unspoken promise of retribution shinning in your e/c eyes.

You left Orvud and stayed hidden within Peter's quaint little country cottage on the outskirts of Yarckel district as per his instructions. It had been covered in dust and was barely in habitable conditions but you managed to buy enough rations for seven days with the money Peter had given you to use. Hidden away from prying eyes you finally broke down and cried your heart out. You were a wreck as you continued to wallow in your misery.

Your anger, your frustration, your helplessness. The way you had been subjected to despair, over and over again. Good things had finally been happening in your life but like fate would have it, you were only allowed to be anguished forever.

By the seventh day when Mrs. Becker, the house keeper of the Capell mansion in Ehrmich and the only other worker of Mr. Capell who was still alive had approached to collect you, you were nothing more than a drained and hollow husk of your past self.

" You have to be strong Y/n. I am old and frail, I cannot protect you two. Trust Mr Capell. Do as he said, he only wanted the best for you two. It is better if Melody is not made aware of it. She is already traumatized. Be strong Y/n, I know you are strong." She told you as she comforted your sobbing form.

It was then you learned that a search had been conducted across all of Mr. Capell's properties to ensure that Melody had been the sole surviving member of Mr. Capell's family. That had been the reason Peter had asked you to hide. You had no idea why someone would be trying to kill you or why the public learning about your existence was a bad thing but you followed Mr. Capell's and Peter's orders nonetheless.

When you showed up at the small but salubrious mansion in the Ehrmich district where Melody was staying with Mrs. Becker, after a week, she had been overjoyed.

"Y/n! I thought I lost you!"

You could feel Melody's tears soaking your black vest and the grey shirt underneath it. It was then Melody noticed your male attire. "Y/n? What happened after you left from Ehrmich? Did you reach father? And why are you dressed like this?" You hesitated, even though you had went over the made up story a thousand times in your head, you couldn't help feeling hesitant. The knife of guilt wedged itself deeper into your heart.

"I never made it back to the mansion. Some men kidnapped me on the way. They claimed to be people from my past, but I don't remember them. They asked me about my family's treasures that I had no recollection of and locked me up. They kept me there for a week, intending to kill me before I finally managed to run away by disguising myself. When I returned back to Orvud, I saw the mansion had been burned down. That is when Mrs. Becker found me and brought me here."

The said woman nodded her head, vouching for your story. "I only wanted to look at what the place had turned into" She dabbed at the genuine tears that fell from her eyes even amidst the bullshit you were spewing. You looked away as a heavy feeling settled on your chest.

Melody recited all that happened in your absence with a heavy heart and by the time she finished, she was a sobbing mess. 

"There there. I'm still here. I will take care of you." You comforted her and wrapped your arms around her quivering form.

"They all died Y/n" Melody whispered. Her voice had become hoarse from crying. "Father, Peter, Barbara. They had been reduced to ashes by the time I reached there." Your grip on Melody tightened, as tears slipped past your eyes. Despite your resolve of not shedding tears any further, you struggled to bite back your sobs. You were surprised when Melody suddenly pulled back and looked at you with a newfound determination.

"I'm going to enlist in the training corps" You only nodded as you wiped away your tears.

You were done moping. It was time for you to be strong and exact your revenge. But before that..

"You cannot reveal my identity to anyone Melody. I have to remain undercover as long as we are in training. I have to find the identity of my kidnappers. I have a target painted on my back. No one can know about my real identity."

* * *

_(Present day)_

Mr. Capell's death along had been no accident. **He had been murdered. The whole Capell residence had been murdered.**

And you had carried the burden of the knowledge for years, alone.

You still felt guilty when you recalled the way you had lied to Melody as planned with Mrs Becker.

Mrs.Becker had sought you out after that and you had learned from her that Mr. Capell had been aware. He had been aware he was going to die. That was the reason he had sent you and Melody away to Ehrmich and entrusted you to Mrs. Becker's care. He had not told her about his reasons and you had no idea who and why someone would be trying to eliminate the entire Capell family.

Mr. Capell had no enemies as far as you had been aware of you. He had been a noble and honest man. You weren't even sure if you and Melody had been the targets too but judging from the way everyone in that household had been slaughtered, you were sure both of you wouldn't have escaped unscathed if you had been present. Your mood darkened as you recalled the who had executed the unforgivable crime.

Captain Levi Ackerman. 'Humanity's strongest soldier'. 

**And the one you were dying to kill.**

When Melody had mentioned she wanted to join the military, you had not protested. Seeing as it was the only way to protect Melody, yourself as well as have a chance at exacting revenge. Besides, if Melody could prove to be strong enough and obtained a high position, it would be difficult for whoever was behind Levi's actions to target her in the future. Anything was better than two vulnerable thirteen year olds and a frail house keeper living unescorted.

So you had enlisted in the military with her. The one miscalculation in your part had been that you had forgotten you were disguised as a boy. It hadn't been a very difficult feat. You were skinny enough to pass off as a boy and you had already chopped off your (h/l) (h/c) hair into boyish haircut. You had also adopted the name (F/n)

People had assumed your feminine voice was a result of not hitting puberty but as you grew older yet retained the same voice, you started adopting a fake rough voice and refrained from speaking much in general, one of the reasons being you couldn't tolerate the obnoxious presence of the boys. The rest of the trainees had interpreted it as arrogance as you were one of the few people dwelling from wall Sheena in the cadet corps.

Whilst it had been easier to live amidst a bunch of boys when you were thirteen, the years had not been kind to you. You were blessed with a feminine form, or a curse in your situation, the evidence being the number of bandages you wrapped around your torso increasing every year. It was becoming painful to mask your gender and you couldn't wait to be done with the training corps. It was a miracle nobody had caught onto your disguise considering how... indecorous some of the boys could get.

Well they were teenagers and that was their outlet for pent up frustration. You could understand them to some extent though it didn't make you any less disgusted with the things that went on in the boy's dormitories. The boys often made fun of you for being a prude as you never took your clothes in front off everyone unlike most of them who roamed around bare chested. You had never once visited the infirmary either in the duration of three years, Melody treating your wounds in private as she had a knack for healing. You weren't sure how long you could keep up your pretense before you landed in the hospital for some serious injury.

Your current headquarters were in Ehrmich, the place where you and Melody had started residing ever since the Capell mansion had burned down. 

Since your headquarters had been shifted, you had missed all the action that had happened in Trost, the revelation of humans being titan shifters and sealing the the breached gate, something Melody had been particularly upset over not being able to witness first hand. Eren Yeager's revelation had caused quite an uproar within the training corps, with everyone picking sides whether he was a friend or foe. You had been one of the few people who hadn't been bothered.

You had been dealing with your own problems. The voices inside your head and the strange foreign presence that used to invade your mind had lessened considerably when you had been staying with the Capell's but it had returned again after years.

While people had been busy fussing over Eren's discovery, you barely managed to step out of your bed, the headaches taking a turn for worse. You had monetarily thought you were losing your mind but had been able to subdue them by distracting yourself with harsh training. Eventually they had lessened and disappeared again. It had been a year since they had disappeared but you were still apprehensive about them returning in the future.

Your district was usually peaceful, considering the ruckus that had happened in Stohess with the 'female titan' as people called it and of course, the chaos in Trost district. You had heard both the districts had been left in ruins after the catastrophes.

However with the recent news of the breach in wall Rose, people had started flocking to Ehrmich, overcrowding and over populating it. You had been on edge, fearing for Melody's safety, praying your district would not meet the same fate as the other two.

* * *

Richie's obnoxious snoring disrupted your reverie and you glared at the bunk on top of your bed, annoyed. One of the things you hated living inside the boys dormitory was how loud they could get even while sleeping.

You sneaked out of a nearby window and climbed up to the roof with ease, feeling suffocated inside the tightly packed room with snoring bodies. You ran a hand through your h/c hair, realizing it had grown a lot since your last hair cut and almost reached past your shoulders. As you walked lost in thoughts over the terracotta tiles covering the roof you froze when you caught sight of the dark haired man gazing towards the moon.

The familiar insignia of the blue and white wings on the back of his short light brown jacket gave his identity away. You could recognize him anywhere. He was not supposed to be here until tomorrow. That is what Melody had informed you. It seemed like the heavens were smiling down on you. 

You had planned and plotted his death meticulously for years, waiting for the right moment. It had been your favorite hobby, to day dream about the light of life slipping away from his usually cold eyes, wanting to see the fear and despair reflect in them as you stabbed him harder with a knife, the same way Mr. Capell had been stabbed. 

Poison him the same way Peter had been poisoned. 

There was no one around, considering it was the middle of the night and you knew you would never find an opportunity like this again. Thanking the heavens that you had decided to bring the knife that you always carried, a memento from Peter, you grabbed it tightly in your hands. The man had his back turned towards you. He did not appear to have noticed your presence either, seemingly lost in thought.

It was now or never.

You charged towards him in full speed intending to stab him, consequences be damned with only one thought running through your mind,

 ** _"_ I'm sorry, sir. I am not sure if I can fulfill your promise or keep your words anymore. ** _**But I will avenge you, Peter and everyone else that had been slaughtered."** _


	3. 105th Cadet Corps

_(3 years ago)_

_ Orvud District, Year 848 _

"Damn Y/n. You should go easy on your old man." Y/n stuck out her tongue out at the melodramatic man that was far from old. 

"Peter you are only twenty-two!" The said man chuckled as he massaged his aching shoulders, courtesy of Y/n’s rather brutal arm locks.

"And yet a thirteen year old brat defeated me. Ah! Y/n you have hurt my ego!"

Y/n snickered at his antics, amused but couldn't help the pride she felt.

"I should've known someone who scared away a titian would be something else" Peter said, recalling the way Y/n had thrown herself into the way of harm just for Melody while he and Barbara, the supposed guardians of Melody had failed.

They had lost sight of Melody amidst the panic that had been erupting inside Wall Maria when Shiganshina's outer gate had been breached and had it not been for Y/n, they would've lost their mistress.

It was extraordinary, Y/n’s talent. Even though she was petite and in her early teens, she possessed skills like no other. After Y/n had started living with them, she had insisted on learning how to fight when she had stumbled upon the training session of the guards one day, so she could protect Melody as a way of offering gratitude to her.

A noble act indeed, for a young girl. Peter had been assigned as her instructor and training partner and he had been training her for a year. Whilst he had initially thought it would be a difficult feat, he had been shocked by her progress just within a year. She was unbelievably fast on picking up moves and learned them in no time. Her inborn skills had shocked everyone within the household, including the other guards. Some had even been jealous of her.

Grown men jealous of a 13 year old, it was laughable.

But she had managed to take down a grown man like himself who was the supposed best of the bodyguards. She knew how to use her height and build to her advantage, focusing more on evading the opponent’s attacks to tire them out before delivering her blows. Her small height also offered her speed and agility to turn the tide towards her. She was naturally gifted.

He was willing to bet on his life that Y/n had been trained in the past, the past she had forgotten about. There was no other explanation for her remarkable skills.

He had also heard about her academic prowess. It was a known fact that Mr. Capell had been teaching her things that he hadn’t even taught Melody. He often sought her out to ask her opinions on the designs he worked on, designs that were forbidden from the rest of the public though he had a brief idea what they were. Her adroitness was commendable.

 **A prodigy.** She was greater than a prodigy.

Peter smirked at her, "What do you say about an arm wrestling match Y/n?" 

Y/n narrowed her eyes at him, the only weakness she possessed. Even though she had skills, sheer brute strength was the only thing she lacked quite a bit. Before she could respond she was interrupted by Alice.

"Y/n Mr. Capell wants to see the **recent designs** you have been working on.”

* * *

_(Present day)_

_ Ehrmich district, Year 851 _

_You charged towards him in full speed intending to stab him, consequences be damned._

_You had underestimated him._

_When you were only mere paces away from him, he swiftly avoided the sharp object and sidestepped you, intending to knock you out as you spied his incoming knifehand strike aimed towards your neck. You dodged his hand at the last moment before slashing at him with your knife again. That had been your mistake. He took advantage of the opening you had created whilst on the offensive and kicked you in the gut._

_Because of your momentum, you could not avoid it in time and you were sent tumbling onto the roof. You grazed your face against the rough tiles but you were up in an instant as you charged towards him with your knife again, a foolhardy and impetuous move but you were well past the point of caring, blinded by a rage you had never felt before coursing through your veins and fueling your actions._

_He stopped you before you could stab him, both of your wrists clasped in one hand with the knife still grasped in your hands, only a few paces away from his face. Even though he was only a few inches taller than you, he held you back with no effort at all._

_"Brat, did you **really** think I did not notice your presence?" His voice was monotonous and he sported the same unperturbed expression. You gritted your teeth as your blood boiled at his indifference. He was supposed to feel the same fear that the residents of the Capell mansion had felt._

_Their ashen faces that had been twisted in anguish and despair as their dead eyes reflected the fear they had felt during their final moments._

_You applied more pressure onto your hands, trying to pierce the knife through his face just where he was begging to be stabbed. He swiftly knocked the knife away from your hands before a fist connected to your face and your vision darkened._

The pain radiating from the left side of your face was the first thing you registered as your consciousness started slipping in .You could feel the hard and uncomfortable bed underneath you. Had you been dreaming? The last thing you remembered was the harsh punch you had received on your face.

When you opened your eyes, the blonde [man](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/shingekinokyojin/images/d/de/Erwin_Smith_%28Anime%29_character_image.png/revision/latest?cb=20190604212647) sitting behind the iron bars was the first thing that caught your attention. You took in the cell you were caged in and a bitter expression covered your face. It had not been a dream.

You had **failed.** Not only did you not get to kill the him, you had also been imprisoned. You caught sight of the [man](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/QXosUd1l8C0/maxresdefault.jpg) you had been intending to kill leaning against the wall casually, his face bored and passive as usual.

How you wished to carve out that arrogant face with a knife, that damn son of a-

"So you are the boy," You were distracted from your homicidal thoughts as the blonde man with bushy eyebrows spoke up. You observed his uniform and realization struck you as you recalled having seen him before, after the Capell mansion had burdened down.

He was..

"I am Commander Erwin Smith, head of the Survey Corps. The person beside me is-"

" ** _Levi Ackerman_** , of course" You spat out his name, the hatred evident in your voice.

If they were taken aback by your animosity towards the said captain, they did not reveal it.

"Cadet (F/n) (L/n), 105th Corps, South division. Average skills, rather weak when it comes to physical strength." Commander Erwin stated unceremoniously as he went through the file in his hands containing your portfolio.

"You don't seem like you have contacts with the higher-ups either. Are you aware of the consequences you are about to face because of trying to assassinate someone, that too a squad leader of the Scout Regiment?"

You only sneered at him. You wanted to yell how the said ‘squad leader’ had slaughtered a whole clan but you held yourself back. You couldn't blow your cover, not after you had failed.

"Seeing your recalcitrant expression, I am sure you are not going to be cooperative and state your reasons behind the assassination attempt so I'm not going to waste my time over it. I have a proposition for you." The man continued, his voice betraying no emotions.

You continued to glare at them defiantly.

"Your graduation is in three months if I'm not mistaken and seeing as you are far behind the top ten, you presumably will not be able to join the Military Police. That only leaves the Garrison and Scout Regiment. We are willing to overlook the incident if you enlist in the Survey Corps"

Now **that** shocked you. You stared at him with thinly veiled surprise and skepticism. Was he being serious? The man seemed to sense your disbelief and continued,

"I'm aware it is surprising, but if you have heard about the disastrous fate Survey Corps usually meet, you won't find many people enlisting in the Scout Regiment. We are awfully short on man power; we need all the help we can get. Your skills are average but taking into consideration the way you dared to attack Captain Levi, head on, reflects your gallantry. We need people with valor and you have potential."

The dark haired man leaning against the wall scoffed at that and your face heated up in humiliation.

Granted you had acted rather impulsively and attacked him without much planning, he had just **insulted** your capabilities.

Your murderous intent became more profound and just as you were about to refuse the offer, you paused, thinking of the ways you could kill him. Maybe joining the Survey Corps wouldn't be a bad idea after all.

The blonde man picked up on your homicidal thoughts instantly.

"Of course if you try to attempt something again, you will be detained immediately along with everyone you are friends with. What were there names again? Ah, Cadet Capell and Cadet Walter. " 

You froze as the warning sunk in. You stared at the man wearily. Commander Erwin had put you on a spot you couldn't refuse. You didn't want to join the Survey Corps if you couldn't even exact your revenge but you did not want to face a death sentence either, not until you killed the man who was responsible for the death of your mentor.

You were stuck between a rock and a hard place when you suddenly had an epiphany as you recalled his earlier words. 

_"Since you far behind the top ten, you presumably will not be able to join the Military Police"_

**That** was the loophole, the one shortcoming in the plan of this man. Although you did feel a little uneasy as you wondered how someone with a crafty and scrupulous nature like him could let that slip but you didn't have any other choice. It was the only way out of your predicament.

You nodded at Erwin, albeit begrudgingly.. **_"I accept the offer."_**

* * *

You snapped your book shut with a resounding smack, unable to focus on it as the boys roared in rambunctious laughter at whatever amusing _(read inappropriate)_ thing they were discussing about. As you caught onto bits and pieces of the repulsively explicit conversation taking place a few beds before you from your isolated corner, you grimaced. You reflected on your past thoughts.

_Well they were teenagers and that was their outlet for pent up frustration. You could understand them to some extent._

Boy, did you take it back. There simply was no excuse for such disrespectful and degrading remarks about one's own comrades.

"Did you see the red head in the 106th corps? She's got great assets-"  
"She's 14!" You heard Ben say, the only one teenager who had any sense of decency and propriety left inside the room, apart from you.

"Whatever, she's fine. And anyway, your opinions don't count. You jerk off to Capell everyday" Ben blushed, affronted. Before he could protest you spoke up, anger lacing your voice,

"Or maybe he's not just a horn dog like you all."

The boy snorted.

"You don't have a say in this L/n. You're just salty no one gives it to you. Don't worry, we'll find a lesbian for you who likes midgets" Karl, a friend of Richie and the nastiest of the bunch mocked you as the rest snickered.

You clenched your jaw. Because of your effeminate form, your roommates often teased you and made fun of you, referring to you as a 'girl' as if that was supposed to be an insult. If only they knew how close to the truth they were. 

"Don't bully him, Karl you might make the wimp cry" You heard the familiar, irritatingly smug voice taunting you.

You ignored him. You had no time for his petty games. You had greater concerns at the moment.

* * *

Melody hadn't been doing too well when she had first enlisted. Living a sheltered life, she had been forced into brutal training all of a sudden. As much as you wanted to stop her suffering, you also wanted her to become strong and independent enough to protect herself. You had a seen the determination in her eyes. She had remarkable willpower and could get back up even when she was in low spirits so you had left her to her own devises. 

The training had been harsh but you had already trained for three years before it. Apart from the exercises that required sheer brute strength, the only thing you were lacking in, it was fairly easy compared to the training you had been subjected to whilst living with the Capell's. But you had held back, there was no reason to prove your superiority to anyone. When the time came, you wanted your target to undermine your strength. You had made sure to keep your rank around Melody’s, not at the very last but far from the top ten.

As you took in her form now, you beamed at her, the pride shinning in your eyes as she smacked down her partner. Melody had drastically improved since the first year. She wasn't the best but you were sure she would be able to secure a rank within the top ten and you were thankful for that as you would never leave her behind. You remembered your conversation with Melody right before enlisting in The Cadet Corps.

_"I'm going to join the Military Police." Melody announced decidedly as she filed in the form. You paused. It was a fairly well known fact that the MP consisted of corrupted individuals. Even Mr. Capell who had friends in the MP had claimed it. Melody, being innocent and oblivious, was infatuated with the prospect of working for the king and queen and regarded it as some sort of honor, being accepted in the MP._

_Although you weren't too fond of the idea you realized MP was the safest place and also held the highest prestige. If she actually made it to the MP whoever had been targeting you two would have new difficulties to deal with. So you kept away the details of the perpetual corruption that had existed in the MP for years and encouraged her decision, telling her to do well so that she could be accepted._

It had been the right choice. You were glad that she would be able to hold her ground even if something happened to you. Now you could focus on joining the Military Police and escaping whatever treacherous traps had been set up for you in the Scout Regiment. You were not the brightest but you were far from naive. You were sure Commander Erwin was scheming something.

"Did you see that F/n! I knocked out Evanna; she's the 10th of our division!" Melody squealed and you smiled at her. "Well done! I’m proud of you"

Ben approached you two , a nervous smile etched on his face. "Melody would you like to spar with me? I-I kind of need help" Melody smiled at him jubilantly that caused his blush to deepen and you stared at the couple amused. If there was anyone you would approve for her, it would be Ben. He was mature, understanding and respectful.

“Not at all like some other boys I know”, you thought as you stared at the group making fun of Ben in disdain.

"Ben about to get some!" They made some obscene remarks and catcalls that had Ben fuming and Melody who was unaware of Ben’s feelings towards her stared at them in annoyance. You clenched your fist as you glared at them. They noticed your glare and directed their attention towards you. 

"Looks like we pissed off napoleon!" They guffawed loudly. You glared at the boy who had made the comment.

 **Richie.** The bane of your existence and your arch nemesis. He had been a sharp thorn on your side since the day you had joined the 105th Cadet Corps. Dwelling originally from Shiganshina district, he seemed to hold some sort of narcissistic sense of superiority over the others because he had **seen** the titans.

Hot tempered and driven by his morally righteous convictions, people often referred to him as the 'Eren Yeager' of your batch due to his similarities with the former 104th cadet. Richie seemed to harbor an intense hatred for anyone who had lived inside the Wall Sheena and you hadn't been any different to him.

Instead you had only pissed him off even more when you had claimed you wanted to join the Military Police. He had fixed you with a disapproving stare, shaking his head in disappointment as he went on a long, reprimanding speech about how Survey Corps was the best and you were a coward.

It hadn't affected you, unlike the other cadets who had suddenly been inspired by his promise of an utopian world and fancy words. You had only claimed his words were empty, earning another heavily censured glance from him before he went out to rant about how someone with your 'easy life' as a resident of Wall Sheena would know nothing about the hardships of life. You had only snorted which had pissed him even more, mistaking it for a snub when in reality you had been laughing at the irony.

There was **no one** who understood hardships better than you. If the cadets knew about your pathetic life, from a forgotten past to living as a beggar, as a slave and finally having found solace before it had been snatched away from you in the cruelest ways, they would forget all about their woes. But you had never revealed it to anyone, letting Richie go on about how harsh life was beyond Wall Sheena.

And ever since that he had started considering you his rival. Richie was excellent in class. He was driven and possessed innate skills. It was no surprise that he was the top of the class, the only thing he did not share in common with Eren Yeager.

You were average. It was not like you were there for joining the military anyway. You were there for revenge. Other things didn't matter to you. You had a sole mission, and a sole mission only- to avenge your mentor's death. And maybe after that, if you were lucky and weren't caught, you would follow Melody into whichever division she joined in. 

When it came to pure physical strength though, you were not the strongest with your petite build. So even though you had monetarily _not_ held back, to win the competition of arm wrestling and wipe the smirk off of the annoying pest's face, also known as Richie, you had been taken aback when he had **actually** defeated you.

 _"I'm not the top of the class for nothing L/n"_ He had taunted you in front of the whole class.

Up until that, he had been an nuisance but that incident had solidified your rivalry and you had started considering him worthy of being your rival. It didn't help that you both were paired for the entire first and second years as dueling and combat partners. You had received your fair share of punches even though you had been tempted more than once to smack him and fight back with equal vigor and not just focus on the defensive.

What had surprised you was when he had requested to be your partner for the third year as well, when you were finally being paired up with new people. You had been dumbfounded and he had explained it was because you were weak and being his partner would supposedly make you stronger. Of course the instructors had agreed bought his reason seeing as he was the top of the class, ignoring your complaints. You were sure he had not done it for your benefit, he only wanted to land more bruises on you.

But this time, you would not sit back and watch them continue to harass you and your friends.

**You were done holding back.**

Stalking to him, you smacked him right across the face, wiping off his trademark smirk, the sound reverberating in the air as the others stopped laughing.

* * *

"Y/n" Melody whispered, staring in shock as you lost your composure. She knew you had been holding back so that you could be placed around the same rank as her, the reason why she had pushed herself relentlessly to do better. She was weighing you down but it seemed like you had finally snapped.

"Oh no he's going to be in trouble! We should help him!" Ben stepped forward but she stopped him. Her evil grin took Ben by surprise and he felt uneasy.

"F/n can take care of them. Just watch." She said, visibly excited as the other boys regained their composure and Y/n got in stance. How she had missed seeing you in action.

"You- you dared to hit Richie!" Karl yelled at you seeing as you had smacked their ‘leader’. They worshipped Richie as if he was some sort of messiah.

You got into your stance. Oh, how you had missed real fighting!

"Teach this asshole a lesson!" Karl yelled as the four of them attacked you at once. 

Before they could even touch you, your fist connected with the nearest one knocking him out cold in an instant as you ducked the one who had attacked you from behind before kicking him in the back, sending him flying into the one in front of you before they landed in tangled heap onto the ground.

Turning to the one on your left you noticed it was Karl who appeared shocked. You swiftly dodged his fist, elbowing the sensitive spot on his face, his nose. He was caught off guard and grabbed his face and you took the opening to knee him in gut. He crouched down and you encircled your arm around his neck, locking him into a guillotine choke. He struggled to break free but you only bent your looped arm upward along with his head.

He dropped down to the ground with a thud. The crowd around you gasped in shock as the remaining two boys who were not yet knocked out stared up at you in fear. Richie had not moved from his position where you had left him after slapping him, disbelief written across his face.

"You- you killed him!" Someone stammered when you heard Melody’s snort.

"He's just unconscious."

You smiled at Melody, your eyes sparkling in mischief feeling, a rare sight on your usually stoic and grumpy face, feeling like your puckish thirteen year old self after you had knocked down Peter in front of Melody for the first time. It had been years since you had felt this satisfied.

She grinned back at you, happiness shinning in her face as she saw traces of the once vivacious and mischievous girl you used to before the tragedy that had turned you austere and detached.

"I knew you were there Y/n" She thought, sighing in relief as she realized she had not lost you entirely.

* * *

"That was amazing!"

"Wow I had no idea you had moves like that!"

"Where did you learn to fight like that?"

"What was the move you used?"

Your eyes twitched as you continued ignoring the questions raining down on you, taking another bite of your bread and keeping your lips sealed. The fiasco that had occurred in the afternoon had spread like a wildfire and people had been on your back, badgering you ever since that. Whilst you had done it because you had to get entry into the top ten and you needed to start somewhere and also to give those jerks the beating they had been long overdue for, flaunting your skills had never been your intentions. You were never good with people and the constant attention was making you anxious.

"I have the answers people. Don’t bother him; I will answer your questions later. Let us have our supper in peace." You eyed the overzealous brunette warily. Whilst you were thankful she was drawing them away, you knew the exaggerated tales she told them about how you used to be a part of an underground gang.

"So were you actually a part of that underground gang?” Ben asked you astonished. You snorted, shaking your head.

"Melody’s been exaggerating. I only learnt some defensive techniques because the orphanage I lived in Wall Sheena didn't have the friendliest people." It wasn't a lie completely. Just that it was not only defensive moves you had learnt, not at the orphanage anyway and you didn't live inside the luxurious orphanages of Wall Sheena. The difference between the orphanages in the inner Wall and Wall Maria was drastic.

"Still, you were amazing! Karl and the other 3, they are all within the top ten. Richie was speechless!" Ben told you in amazement. You only gave him an uneasy smile as you felt the glares of someone at the back of your head. You turned to look at a certain empty table that was usually crowded by the people who were crowding your table now.

Two of them had band aids on their face but the second they noticed your gaze they lowered their eyes. Well, all of them except Karl who continued to stare at you frostily and Richie who had been quiet ever since you had slapped him. It was absurd and shocking but somehow you preferred a loud mouthed Richie. The way he was keeping quiet and staring at you with an [unfathomable](https://i.quotev.com/img/q/u/15/4/20/Taki.jpg) look was unnerving and you were starting to regret it almost.

Keyword: **almost.**

You knew you couldn't hold back anymore. You had to get within the top ranks if you wanted to escape the trap commander Erwin had set you up to. You were far behind in the ranks as it was. You only had three months to prove your worth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos! ^^


	4. Graduation Ceremony

_( 3 months later)_

_ Ehrmich District, Paradis Island, Year 851 _

_(Two days before graduation)_

Keith Shadis had seen a lot of things in his life and was not one to be easily surprised. From witnessing the gruesome death of his fellow comrades as the giant humanoid beasts chomped down on them like they were snacks, the revelation of humans being titan shifters, the weirdos that he had been subjected to train in the Training Corps to evading a dreadful death more than a few times, a lot of things had lost shock value to him.

As he observed the 105th cadets completing their laps around the training ground, his eyes shifted towards the cadets who were doing the best in the large group. He eyed the light brown haired young man leading the group, making final updates to the portfolios of all the cadets.

 **Richie Miller** \- Exceptionally strong and efficient at wielding blades. Has a deep understanding of the vertical maneuvering equipment, excels at hand to hand combat and possesses leadership skills. Displays juvenile behavior at times and gets into conflicts often but it has toned down considerably over the months.

 **Ben Walter** **-** Knows how to read the situation correctly and acts quickly. Is fast and light on his feet, willing to help his comrades even in times of adversity. Doesn't break under pressure and would make a good leader if he knew how to take the initiative.

 **Melody Capell** \- Has shown impressive progress over the years. Has an inborn aptitude towards healing and can mend the gravest of wounds even with insufficient supplies. Suitable as a field healer. Has a great sense of teamwork and gets along with everyone. But she can get reckless and distracted from the job at hand easily.

As he noted down the details on his clipboard, his eyes fell onto the h/c haired boy, leaning against the wall, having already completed his rounds.

Keith Shadis had seen a lot of things in his life and was not easily shocked. **You** were a rare exception. He had observed you long enough to know you had been holding back on purpose, an intriguing concept and he wondered what your reasons had been behind doing so. There was also something **strange** about you. He had some suspicions but stating them outright wouldn't be a wise move, without evidence. 

**(F/n) ( L/n)** \- Has shown unbelievably remarkable progress over the duration of three months, rising to the top ranks quickly. Possessing average physical strength, he excels at everything else and has a unique style of fighting that has never been witnessed before. Is quick on his feet and can take on opponents twice his size. Has great endurance and rarely visits the infirmity. Drawbacks include his disregard for teamwork and noncooperation with other candidates.

* * *

Three months had passed in a blur. Whilst Melody had been happy that your scintillating self had monetarily made a comeback, you had quickly withdrawn again much to her chagrin. You had kept up a professional facade, doing only what needs to be done and avoiding anything that would attract unnecessary attention or would otherwise be interpreted as being boastful. Rapidly climbing the ranks, you had secured the second position within the top ten with the first still being held by Richie, particularly because of your growing hostility towards the others and your obstinate refusal to work in groups. You would much rather work alone.

The stares you kept getting from everyone was driving you insane. The sudden spotlight and attention thrust onto you had made you unusually paranoid with the thought of getting your gender exposed. People who weren't aware of your existence in the past had started following you everywhere and were all of a sudden interested in your past, the orphanage you came from, where you had been living before that. 

Besides your headaches had returned after the first month, worse than before. Thankfully the news of Eren Yeager's rescue and the supposed betrayal of two of the 104th Cadet Corps had distracted everyone from obsessing over you temporarily. There were also some rumors about him possessing a different ability though you couldn't care less about it with your state. Even with your headache, you had continued training, hoping you would be able to subdue it like last time.

_You could feel it, you were laying on top of the brown soil again. The coarse, gritty particles clung to your back, caressing your skin and enclosed your body in a cold embrace. It was oddly comfortable. You breathed in the earthy smell, feeling at ease. You felt as if you were one with the surroundings, as if you were a physical manifestation of the place. As if you **belonged** there. _

_You opened your eyes and stared at your surroundings, the place you had frequently visited in your dreams in astonishment. It was the first time you had noticed the dark purple sky covered in twinkling little stars. You took in the dual, luminescent green and blue parallel lines painted across the dark canvas, dividing the the infinite mass of purple into two parts. The familiar little girl skipped towards you, her long dark hair flowing behind her._

_"The founding titan has been activated."_

_You looked up at her from the position you were resting in. Your mind felt fuzzy as the faint whispers that the wind carried lulled you to sleep._

_"What?"_

_"The second phase has started. It has been activated. Endure the pain Y/n. It will make you stronger."_

You had dreamed of that girl again, after years. The last time you had seen her in your dreams was when you had been thirteen. Your headaches had miraculously disappeared after that again. You didn't really get much time to ponder over it as people started focusing their attention back onto you as the excitement over Eren Yeager's heroic rescue wore off and the graduation day edged closer, with you taking the spotlight again.

As a result you had shut yourself from the others completely. You had even cut short your interactions with Melody and Ben much to their dismay. You couldn't wait to be done with the Training Corps so that you could join the Military Police and have some breathing space. As far as you had heard, everybody in the MP was narcissistic or eventually turned into one so you wouldn't have to worry about people badgering you constantly and breathing down your neck. You could also meticulously plot Levi's death again, this time with even more caution so that you were not found out lest Melody and Ben get in trouble.

You weren't the **only** one who had changed. Richie had been acting unusually subdued and mature. The Richie you knew would have sought revenge for his humiliation the first thing he did and you had been watching your back ever since then, expecting him to come charging at you out of the blue with his blade. 

So when you saw him the next day speaking up against his 'friends' because of the disrespectful comments they had been making towards a junior 107th candidate, you had been taken aback. He still hung out with them but he never participated in their conversations anymore. As you thought back to it, he had never really shown much interest in those conversations anyway, it had always been his cronies. Richie's comments usually revolved around pissing you off.

It should have made you happy but it had only set you on the edge . A brooding Richie was unnerving. The glances he sent your way when he thought you weren't staring wasn't lost on you.

Your training sessions had become increasingly intense. Since you didn't held back anymore and he had never held back to begin with they were usually drawn out for a long time and you both had your equal share of wins and losses. Richie did not have the gloating face he used to sport earlier when he won. It was usually masked behind a passive expression, much like yourself.

When it came to hand to hand combat though, you had an edge over him. It was your forte. However he seemed hesitant to **_touch_** you. You had picked up on his awkward behavior and grown suspicious. When you managed to tackle him own one day during your training and sat on top of him twisting his arm behind his back and straddling him, he had been frozen in shock and _had blushed._

Richie had ** _blushed._**

To your growing horror, the reason behind his sudden change in demeanor dawned on you then.

He **_knew._**

He knew about you, or at least had suspicions.

You couldn't be sure whether he was actually aware you were a girl but it had still made you panicky. You had started avoiding him after that altogether, not a difficult feat since he did not really go out of his way particularly to seek you out either.

Richie didn't tell anyone about it as far as you could tell, not even his friends. Your anxiety was making you sick literally and you prayed for the day of graduation to approach earlier. 

* * *

"Do you have heart?"

"Sir!" You thumped your right hand against your chest as you offered tribute to the Training Corps instructors who had been your guides for the last three years. It was the night of the closing ceremony. You had finally graduated with honors. Out of the total recruits, only three hundred had been able to graduate.

"As of this moment you have three options open to you. Choose wisely!

 **[The Garrison Regiment](http://pm1.narvii.com/6299/3a40c60b7fd7a1194cb290a85663e4cf57612e1b_hq.jpg) **whose job is to reinforce the walls.

 **[The Scout Regiment](https://res.cloudinary.com/teepublic/image/private/s--ZFXlfMvM--/t_Preview/b_rgb:9cb58c,c_limit,f_jpg,h_630,q_90,w_630/v1466098271/production/designs/547522_1.jpg) **who rides back in the titan country to take back what was ours and

[ **The MP Regiment**](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/shingekinokyojin/images/4/4c/Brigade_Logo.png/revision/latest?cb=20140307090257) maintaining law and order from the order of his royal majesty. Those cadets eligible for MP have already been named. The rest of you take a look, **these** are the top of your class"

You spied a glance along the line you were standing in. Richie was the top of the class as expected followed by you. You took in the other familiar faces. Ben had ranked at 7th and Melody was 9th. Evanna, Melody’s partner was 8th. All four of Richie's friends had managed a rank within the top ten, with Karl right at the third position after you. You could feel the annoyance rolling off him in waves at the fact that you had managed to obtain a spot higher than him.

* * *

"Alright! MP here I come!"

You sat bored at the table playing with your food. The beer was flowing graciously tonight as everyone celebrated the graduation and discussed whatever regiment they were going to join in. You saw Richie delivering his infamous and 'inspiring' speech about how it was absurd that the best soldiers were supposed to stay inside whilst the others went out as the crowd gathered around him stared up at him with admiration and realization,eyes twinkling and all that, as if they were being enlightened.

You rolled your eyes at him. He had not really changed _that_ much after all.

"I've been thinking... is it really the best decision to join the MP? Richie has got a point you know. Doesn't it defeat the purpose of it?" You paused, taking in the uncertainty shrouding your best friend's eyes.

 _''Oh no. This is bad'',_ you thought grimacing. You did not like the look in her eyes. She was having second thoughts.

"This was your dream Melody. We joined the Training Corps because of this. You pushed yourself hard because of this. Now you are backing out?" You asked her, feeling apprehensive. If Melody didn't join the MP, things would be difficult.

Melody shook her head "I know. It's just...people seem to dislike the MP. Say things about the MP about how they only slack off."

You pursed your lips, finding it to hard to deny the statements. They were irrefutably true.

"It doesn't matter what others say. A military branch does not represent the good or bad, it is all on the individual skills. Conduct is an individual responsibility. If we can conduct our self properly in the MP and bring about changes, wouldn't that make the reputation of the MP better?"

Melody smiled at you, feeling encouraged at your words before she brightened up.

"F/n you are being **talkative** again!" Ben and Melody fake gasped and you shook your head at their antics. 

"F/n, you're joining the MP right?"

You looked up to see who had interrupted you. You recognized the girl, she had been placed at the 5th rank though you didn't know her name. You nodded your head and she blushed. 

"O-oh I suppose I will be joining the MP too then" When she noticed your questioning stare, she flustered harder.

"R-right so I'll see you around"

You shot a glare at the snickering couple before you. "What?" 

"F/n can't you tell? Emily likes you!" Ben told you as Melody roared in laughter.

You had speculated it. It made you uncomfortable yet at the same time, slightly amused. The attention you had started garnering from some females ever since you had started performing well was not only because of your skills, you knew it. You had pretended to be oblivious which had backfired and in turn made them admire you more.

You rolled your eyes at the couple.

"Ben , where are **_you_** joining again? Don't make me open my mouth" **That** shut him up. Ben turned crimson as he glared at you and Melody looked between the both of you bewildered. You were aware of the red head's devotion towards your best friend, even though the said girl was oblivious. Ben was going to follow whichever division Melody joined in.

* * *

You sneaked out of your bed. It was the night before your enlistment in the MP. Even though you had been waiting for this day to come, you couldn't help the anxiety that was taking a hold of you. You knew things would not go smoothly. Commander Erwin would be there expecting you to join the Survey Corps and when you would refuse, he would undoubtedly bring up your assassination attempt.

There wasn't really any proof against you seeing as he had already let you go and there had been no witnesses either. He couldn't just lock you up on accused charges alone, could he?

If only you could find the knife that had your name carved on its handle and your fingerprints. You remembered it had been knocked away from your hands before Levi had punched you but you couldn't find it anywhere even after searching for three months. It had not on the roof, neither on the ground below. You had searched every nook and cranny for it. You were sure someone had picked it up.

If only you could get your hands on it. If it fell into commander Erwin's hands, your identity would be exposed. He was smart enough to connect the dots despite of the female name carved in on it.

It was also a gift Peter had given you with the note you had found in his pouch. He had been saving it for your fourteenth birthday and intended on giving it to you himself seeing how fond you were of his knife. You were depressed about losing the only thing you had of his memory.

Your musings were cut short when you ran into a figure and stumbled back, almost falling on your back "Watch it!" You yelled, annoyed when you realized who it was. 

The hazel eyed haired boy did not look surprised to see you there, unlike you

"What are you doing here?" You asked him.

"I could ask you the same thing" Richie said raising his eyebrows. You clicked your tongue and straightened your posture, observing his unusually jittery expression. He looked at you expectantly as if to say something before he closed his mouth again and looked away awkwardly. You brushed past him, intending to continue your night walk when his words stopped you.

"I know you are a girl L/n. And I know that you know I do" 

Your suspicions **had** been correct.

You tensed up as soon as you heard his words. When you turned to address him however, your face was wiped clean of worries and brows furrowed in a false enactment of curiosity and disbelief

"What you are talking about?" You feigned innocence,the best you could with your anxious state of mind.

He had an all too familiar smug expression covering his face " Cut the crap L/n. I **have** been aware of it since second year . Don't worry, I won't blow your cover. N-not that I care about you or anything. It's just fun to bully you and I don''t want you to think I will let you off easily just because you're a female"

He looked away so that you could not see the blotches of red on his [face](https://a.wattpad.com/cover/65506444-256-k617839.jpg). You sputtered, faltering and failing to come up with an appropriate excuse when he grasped your hand and placed something covered with a cloth on it, taking you by surprise.

"I don't know how you lost it but I've seen you carrying it all the time. Thought it might be important. H-here" He turned away from you, his face burning bright red unbeknownst to you as you unwrapped the object in your hand.

It was your knife. You stared at your _real_ name carved on its wooden handle in shock. So he **was** aware of your real name as well however the fact that he had returned it to you instead of exposing you was surprising considering his past nature. You looked up at him and stared at him, in a new light.

Richie was **_being nice._**

The world must be ending. You snorted and he turned to glare at you "Is that how you repay gratitude?"

You shook your head and a rare, genuine smile graced your lips.

" **Thank you** " and you meant it. For keeping your secret, for returning the knife. Despite the years of rivalry, he had not ratted you out.

In your three years of acquaintance, it was the most civil and genuine words that had left your lips and he appeared fidgety and visibly uncomfortable with the exchange.

Even though you yourself had been feeling uncomfortable initially, it was amusing to see him squirming.

"Whatever. I just found it lying around today. Contrary to the rumors, us dwellers from Wall Maria don't steal stuff" Something told you he had not found it 'lying around today' but you couldn't care less in that moment. 

You bit back a smirk. You couldn't wait for tomorrow. 

"Commander Erwin **_I_** **_win_**. I have the last piece of evidence you could have used against me." Amidst your complacent thoughts, you missed the longing glance Richie cast your way.

* * *

You could feel the nervousness rolling off of [everyone](https://ibb.co/g9ccfzs) as you all stepped in and fell in line before the platform. It seemed everyone was just as nervous about the recruitment as you were, though for entirely different reasons of course. The blonde man stepped in, donning the uniform of the regiment he was representing. He was missing an arm, something that you had heard had happened during the rescue operation of Eren Yeager but it didn't make him any less statuesque or intimidating.

"Good evening, I am the Erwin Smith, Commander of the Survey Corps, also known as the Scout Regiment. Let's cut to the chase here, the Scouts need you. After the recent consecutive events, you know the horrors they are capable of as well as the limits of your own skill. However, the sealing of Trost district and the information we have now about titan shifters has given humanity its fair share of victories. I'm sure you all have heard about Eren Yeager. He has not only helped us deter the titan invasions, he's offered us a means to discern the truth of their own."

You could hear the gasps all around as everyone expressed their disbelief. You couldn't help it, even **you** were intrigued. 

"Intel suggest that the cellar of Yeager's house in Shiganshina holds a vital secret regarding our enemy. We will form an expedition to find our enemy. Find it and use it to break free of the titan's 100 year reign once and for all!"

The way the [man](http://66.media.tumblr.com/805f0784b0bbb071cb0a6fd138abf250/tumblr_mvazvktnPS1st3om5o1_1280.png) kept delivering out the speech unceremoniously and mechanically made you realize that he had given the same speech a few other times as well. You narrowed your eyes at him, your earlier curiosity defused. You couldn't tell whether he was being sincere or not about the cellar seeing as you had witnessed his crafty nature first hand. Maybe it was all a ploy to recruit more people to his cause. He **had** told you they desperately needed more man power.

"Before we reach the basement, we must retake Wall Maria. Of course this is easier said than done. "

You tuned out the conversation as the man began to explain his plan with a map, your eyes searching for the familiar dark haired man, the one who was the reason for your enlistment. You couldn't see him anywhere. You were sure he would be waiting to take you into lock up the moment you betrayed them. You frowned. Had the Commander really expected you to join the Survey Corps?

As the man continued listing out the casualties and grim fate most Survey Corps met quite brutally, you could see the intentions of your fellow batch mates that had been jumping over the prospect of joining the Survey Corps wavering. The bravado they had displayed earlier was all but extinguished as you caught sight of their pale and horror stricken faces.

Fools, all of them. What **had** they expected?

Idealistic thoughts were only good when one didn't have to face the reality. The reality was often much graver, given how fragile human lives were. They had never experienced the feeling of being held uncomfortably tight in the humongous hand of a titan knowing they could crush your soul out at any moment, worse devour you. 

You caught onto the scared expression on the usually smug Karl's face and had to stop yourself from snorting. You spied a glance at Richie. Even though the uncertainty flickered across his face ever so often, you could tell he was still going to join the Survey Corps. His resolve had not deterred even when faced with the grim reality. You **had** to admit, it was an admirable trait.

"..can you give **everything** for humanity? That is all. Those who wanting to join other regiments are dismissed."

You looked back at the Commander and were surprised when you saw [his](https://66.media.tumblr.com/dfa3f49d7dc046aacd554b576c198030/tumblr_mwn0pdLChg1stuftto1_500.png) eyes directly on you. It was the first time he had acknowledged your presence but you couldn't deduce what was going through his head. If he had heard about your new rank, which he probably had, he didn't show any surprise.

As the murmurs came to an end, the sound of footsteps retreating became more significant, finalizing the decision of your fellow comrades as they left, the very people who had scoffed at you for your choice to join the MP.

Melody was pale as she still stood her ground, the conflict visible on her face. You were even more surprised when **Karl** stepped away, earning a heavily betrayed and reproachful look from Richie and his three other friends who decided to stay put. You stepped back and approached Melody.

"Let's go" You told her with certitude as your e/c eyes met Richie's light brown ones. His eyes reflected disappointment as you stepped away with her, Ben trailing behind you. You didn't turn back to look at the expression on the Commander's face as you left for the place recruiting the MP.

* * *

"I did not join the MP to do this" You heard [Karl ](https://pm1.narvii.com/6951/6820007578ba69d448375dcaea218dbd6da08000r1-1024-576v2_hq.jpg)grumble as you all swept the courtyard in front of the MP headquarters. It had been two day since you had joined. While you had heard the other branches had been training their soldiers and specializing them in their department, you all had been working as maids- sweeping, washing dishes and running errands for the other officials. You recalled commander [Nile Dok's](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/shingekinokyojin/images/0/0a/Nile_Dawk_%28Anime%29_character_image.png/revision/latest?cb=20160326080324) words from your introduction ceremony.

_Welcome to the Military Police, the regiment with the highest prestige. Contrary to a lot of rumors, our legion does not only slack off. You all must have heard the MP had equal contribution in the rescue operation of Eren Yeager from the armored titan. You will be expected to work from your first day._

**This** was the work you had been subjected to. While it was not laboring, it was humiliating. So much for improvement.

Your skills were going to be wasted, all of yours. You were starting to feel less like a part of the best ten soldiers’ out of two hundred ninety others and more like an errand boy. The other MP recruits hadn't been any better. 

"No shit, you're a goddamn diva!"[ Hitch Dreyse](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/-ueSFgGV1J0/maxresdefault.jpg), another squad member under the Captain you had been placed under mocked Karl. Even though she was a part of the former graduating batch, she still had the same fate as you all.

Karl glared at her when you heard Melody scoff. 

"Should've stayed with your best friend then" He visibly flinched at that, guilt replacing his features. Melody had been snappier than usual due to the insignificant and fatuous jobs you were being forced to do.

Her convictions and dreams about working for the royal government had all but been crushed.

It didn't bother you, even though you did feel bad for Melody. At least you could keep her safe that way and it gave you plenty of time to plot your revenge fantasies.

"Is that **Captain Levi**?" Ben said distracting you all and you turned to look at the said man sharply. It had been two days and you had been wondering whether Commander Erwin had actually **_pardoned_** you.

 ** _Of course not._** Seemed like your time was up. 

The dark haired man stepped in, his face betraying no expression as he stalked towards you. He clasped his hand around your rights wrist before a shiny steel handcuff replaced his grip. You knew why you were being taken but you had to put up a front. 

"Excuse you?" you said, the confusion evident in your voice.

The [man ](https://images.plurk.com/3kQYH1mI77uHjFZ8S9Bj2n.png)frowned at you slightly before he started dragging you after him by your handcuff.

You could hear the murmurs of the rest of the MP around you. You didn't resist as he dragged you towards the gate where a carriage was waiting for you.

" **F/n?!** Where are you taking him?" you could hear Melody’s frantic voice as Ben held her back. You kept your cool, panicking would not make things better. You already knew this would happen. You only hoped the court was sane enough to not lock you up on the basis of accused charges only. On your way out you ran into Commander Nile Dok who appeared surprised at the scene.

"Captain Levi? What's going on?" You were prepared to hear about your failed assassination attempt on humanity's strongest solider when Commander Erwin's claims, who had just stepped out of the carriage, froze you in place in utter shock.

**" Cadet Y/n L/n is an impostor. She's a girl."**


End file.
